Day 29: a change of plans

CS Lewis wrote: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

I love this quote.

Unfortunately, it is so true and my heart is really sad right now. Fez went in for his second chemotherapy treatment. He hasn't been feeling himself for the last week and a bit and has only been eating small amounts. Well today we found out why... the mass in his stomach has grown significantly since his previous ultrasound a month ago. It appears that the first chemotherapy treatment did not work. The mass has grown and he is now anemic and weak. The good news is that his stomach had not ruptured - this was a big concern. The debate today was whether or not to give him more chemotherapy. A difficult decision - Fez may feel better if the chemotherapy starts to address the tumor - alternatively, it may make him feel worse. We decided that we really did not have much to loose - so Fez received his next dose of chemotherapy (Vincristine). We are now trying a different protocol - a more intense one. Unfortunately, this means Fez will have to go in to the school weekly for the next 6 weeks. He seemed to deal with the visit ok and has come home and is not hiding! I don't get the impression that the prognosis is good. We will see what the next little bit holds.

One day at a time...